Unruled Notebook

Frustables are defined as common, yet puzzling phenomena that are uniquely frustrating because they lack a clear answer. Restricted to the Indian context, here are some of my bafflement that resemble frustables. Some are simply language defects. That a few are also PJs only show why we won’t correct them.

1. Why do movie heroes shake a lot and flail their hands all over the fret-board for a particularly fast guitar lick, while that is exactly when ‘real guitarists’ would remain very still for better control and move the fingers across the fret to cover the scale?
2. Given TV stands for Tele Vision, a device, why private Indian TV channels identify themselves as separate TVs? Zee TV, Sun TV, Raj TV, Vijay TV, Surya TV… (In contrast to the oft riled state run Doordharshan or Podhigai who don’t make this error)
3. Why painters sign their work at the right bottom of the picture and not anywhere else in the painting?
4. How does a ‘modern art‘ painter know when the painting is completed?
5. Why prominent newspapers of India like The Hindu, when addressing “foreign” politicians use a Mr. (as in Mr. Obama) but don’t do it while addressing our local Indian politicians (as in Atal Bihari Vajpayee)?
6. Why do we make dosas and rotis round, while we anyway heat from the bottom to get them cooked?
7. Why during Diwali times we inquire the new dress is ‘ready-made’ or stitched, when it is obvious ‘ready-made’ is also stitched?



8. While we seldom see the common woman in such outfits, why do fashion shows hail and foster bizarre dresses as ‘latest fashion’?
9. While inside academia it is a big thing whether you are one or not, why the public always address you as a professor?
10. Why we ask our school going kid is today a ‘color dress’ or ‘uniform’ day, when ‘uniform’ also is (of some) color dress?
11. Similarly, why do we falsely distinguish between ‘color’ TV and black and white TV, while black and white are also colors.
12. Why Carnatic musicians are discussed by fans as mama (uncle), mami (aunt), amma (mother), anna (brother) etc. (like Semmangudi Mama, MS Amma, Vijay Siva Anna etc.) while they aren’t?
13. Why less famous actresses always look beautiful in person?
14. Why do we in Indian academia and perhaps even in corporates disapprove the ‘shorts’ as informal citing ‘western influence’, while the formal slack and shirt that we wear are also only that?
15. Why, even when are placed far behind, do we honk or rev up our vehicles the moment the traffic light turns green?
16. Why do we refer to our teachers, as a mark of respect, only by their initials (as in TS, RSV, RC etc.) with or without a Sir after it, when we could use their name with a Sir after it?
17. Why do we hang in our house gates sign boards that read “keep the gate closed” or “close gate after opening”. How does one enter then?
18. Similarly, why do we name our apartment complexes ‘Jayashree Gardens’ when all you see inside is concrete and no Jayashree even in sight?
19. Why do blog readers always demand from blog writers what they want to read rather than read (or skip) what is written?
20. Why do girls love anything in pink or purple (and not me)?

Obviously this is an endless list. Let me know if I have missed any obvious ones. I shall write another note in due course.