On the Expected Effects of Imbibing the Scientific and the Political Spirit in India: a contemporary analysis with temporary and permanent conclusions
by
Proses Anonymitus and Mobius Stripped(*)
School of Irrelevance, Apathy and Nonchalance
Indian Institute of Ticklenology, USA(#)
(*) corresponding author who will answer your queries in real time, in the comments section below this technical brief
(#) deliberately misinformed just to get this research work quickly published with minor or no review
Abstract
Here we are releasing for the consumption of the ADHD non-afflicted English reading public in the internet (only a handful), a Technical Brief on the separate and combined effects of imbibing and/or being inebriated by, The Scientific Spirit and The Political Spirit, while identifying oneself as the Citizen of India and also residing somewhere within its imaginary boundaries.
1. Introduction
The existence of the Indian Scientific Spirit was long suspected. For instance, mythological evidence carefully documented in early works including the Ramayana [1], proved categorically that the modern aeroplane is nothing but an unabashed rehash of the pushpaka vimana that Ravana stole from Kubera, because of its executive class services that included hand-fan bearing semi naked hot ladies with big breasts. Incidentally, the very same pushpaka vimana was later used by Rama for his one way return trip to Ayodhya because he perhaps also felt deserved of its executive class services, having traveled until then in the economic class of Hanuman’s shoulders, another heavier than air flying device invented by the Vedic Indian Scientific Spirit.
Since these bygone golden times, the Indian Scientific Spirit went missing and only occasionally reared its ugly head in modern times each time marginalized for its ill effects on the remaining rational Indians now and then.
A similar literature survey on the Political Spirit, which was never suspected of its existence in India, is conclusive of the effects of imbibing it, to understand which, one can safely ask the reader to refer to works such as The Mahabharatha by Krishna Dvaipayana [2], Arthashastra by Kautilya et al. [3] and recently, Politics: The First Refuge for Scoundrels by TJS George [4].
Now we go on to explore the modern day effects of being inebriated by these two Spirits, separately and in combination.
2. Experiments Conducted Recently
Readers are asked to refer to the existing reports [5 - 12+1] of recent experiments conducted involving both the Scientific and the Political Spirit. For brevity, these experiments and their necessity are not reported in this work. However, we highlight certain passages from these reports to derive our conclusions.
3. Results and Discussion
Two days back ASI while reporting its findings in an affidavit [5] filed by the central government of India to the Supreme Court in the Sethsamudhram Project, wrote
The petitioners [...] while seeking relief [not to damage Ramar Sethu] have primarily relied upon the contents of the Valmiki Ramayana, the Ramcharitmanas by Tulasidas and other mythological texts, which admittedly form an important part of ancient Indian literature, but which cannot be said to be [a] historical record to incontrovertibly prove the existence of the characters or the occurrence of the events depicted therein.
The ASI is aware of and duly respects the deep religious import bestowed upon these texts by the Hindu community across the globe; it is also submitted that the study of human history, which is the primary object of the ASI, like other sciences and fields of study must be carried out in a scientific manner, using available technological aids, and its findings must be based on tangible material evidence.
Obviously, ASI was inebriated by the Scientific Spirit.
Today, while rejecting an apology plea [6] by the BJP from the Prime Minister for stating the scientific findings a little too dispassionately, the Congress party spokesman Abhishek Singhvi told the media that neither the Prime Minister nor (THE Prime Minister) Ms. Gandhi filed the affidavit. He further offered these noises
The important thing is the alacrity with which the mistake was rectified. To err is human, to rectify the error is divine. The speed with which the matter was rectified makes us deserve kudos. To make it into an issue as the Opposition parties are doing, is to exploit and politicise it.
Before going to the implied meanings of the second sentence in the above text, notice the immediate effects of imbibing the Political Spirit in the third sentence. That “the matter was rectified makes us deserve kudos.” reveals of how one is able to pat in one’s own back, a humanly difficult task, purely because of imbibing the Political Spirit is remarkable.
Now for the implied meanings of the second sentence. Notice how the Abhishek Singhvi self-constructed misquote of the known verse “To err is human, to forgive Divine” as “To err is human, to rectify the error is divine”. Wondering why he is doing that? Did you notice who asked the effects of the scientific spirit of the ASI to be rectified with alacrity? The same report offers the answer
While the government has withdrawn the controversial affidavit in the Supreme Court, the party said an enquiry was on to find out how the erroneous paragraphs “crept in” in the affidavit and to “fix responsibility.” This was being done at the behest of Ms. Gandhi.
Aha! So it was Mother Sonia who asked one to “rectify the error”. That makes Soniaji THE Divine, according to the “To err is human, to rectify the error is divine.” epithet by Abhishek Singhvi.
Abhishek Singhvi is obviously inebriated up to the nose by the Political Spirit.
If he were in the USA, leave alone driving, he will be fined even for walking in such an inebriated state. A kind cop might even offer a designated driver to help proceed with his walking.
Now let us take a look at more instances of the effects of these spirits. In the same report [6] that speaks of Abhishek Singhvi’s veiled prayers to the Divine Mother Sonia, it was mentioned that
Preliminary inquiry has shown that the affidavit was vetted by the Ministry of Culture and Law.
Today another report [7] tells us that
[...]
ASI officials Bakshi and Chandrashekhar were placed under suspension following the enquiry conducted by ASI Director-General A. Vaish, highly placed sources here said.
One of the suspended officials was at the Director-level, dealing with the issue for a long time while the other was responsible for amending the final draft of the affidavit submitted by the Centre to the apex court.
The enquiry was ordered by the Secretary of the Union Culture Ministry and the action was taken on the basis of the report submitted by Mr. Vaish on Friday, the sources said.
The suspension was approved by the Union Tourism and Culture Minister Ambika Soni, who returned here on Friday night from a tour of Japan earlier in the day, they said.
One conclusion, by now, is apparent. Bakshi and Chandrashekar are fired (literally) because of the ill effects of drinking a bit too much of the Scientific Spirit while at work in India.
On the other hand, Ambika Soni is so much soaked in the Political Spirit at office that she has to tour Japan in the right time to sober up so that upon her return she can promptly claim innocence of the effects of The Scientific Spirit that she anyway never drank.
The observation above allows one to conclude with confidence that imbibing the Political Spirit in modern India makes one take the right precognitive decision about when to fly the modern day unabashed rehash of the pushpaka vimana that we encountered in the Introduction section. What is not clear is whether she has changed suitably the services of the executive class or they remain the same from ancient times.
And that leaves us with the curious case of ASI Director-General A. Vaish.
He is the modern day victim who enjoys the combined effects of having drunk both The Scientific and the Political Spirit. It remains to be seen in the future if he would survive a possible occurrence (or recurrence) of coronary thrombosis.
4. Conclusions
The modern day effects of imbibing The Scientific Spirit and The Political Spirit in India has been highlighted in this technical brief, giving special attention to their separate and combined effects.
The conclusions drawn on the effects of such spirits, although not yet proven universally, can safely be concluded to be applicable for a billion of the accounted human populace residing within and without India.
While this brief merely reiterates the known and established effects of imbibing the Political Spirit, more such instances of practical proof from independent experiments are required before one can be conclusive on the ill effects of the Scientific Spirit and also its combined effect when mixed proportionately with the Political Spirit.
In passing we mention the recent works of others (most of which also collected in the review by Confused published in Desipundit [8]) like that of The Great Bong [9], Jaafna [10], Parseval [11], Reality Check [12], Suvrat Kher [13] all of whom, using the results of the experiments conducted recently and mentioned in the above section Experiments Conducted Recently, have arrived at not too different a conclusion from the implied one that (imbibing The Scientific Spirit makes your life difficult in India that) we have arrived at here.
5. References
- The Ramayana by Valmiki, former thief
- The Mahabharatha by Vyasa, formally Krishna Dvaipayana
- Arthasastra by Kautilya, Vishnugupta and Canakya, all except the last died as poor teachers without dedicated wikipages
- Politics: The First Refuge for Scoundrels by TJS George, a long time investigator of the effects of only The Political Spirit (his work appears weekly in The New Indian Express)
- No evidence to prove Ramar Sethu is manmade; ASI, The Hindu – not the religion, but the newspaper
- Congress rejects apology plea, The Hindu – not the religion, but the newspaper
- Two ASI officials suspended, The Hindu – not the religion, but the newspaper
- On Adams Bridge (Ram Setu) Controversy – by Confused, a review published in Desipundit
- Rama Rama by The Great Bong
- The Ramayana, the Sethusamudram and Indian Archeology by Jaafna,
- The Power of Faith by Parseval
- Ram Sethu for dummies by Reality Check
- Ram Sethu : A Dummies Guide by Suvrat Kher, a geologist (thanks for reviewer Krish for this pointer in the comments section)
Acknowledgment
We, Proses Anonymitus and Mobius Stripped, thank the generous support of the Indian public for allowing such useful experiments to persist in India, the only democracy available to foster such excess stupidity to exist in nature. We also thank in passing the Free Time Grant made available in part as a Saturday by The Weekend that made this work possible.