Talking is a national disease. Loud talking is a national desire. Repeating every sentence at least three times in several forms is a national pass time. Most assume most other minus them is either dumb or deaf or both. The resulting unbearable heaviness of being that a hapless plebian bears results in the following crackpot idea.
We know of the idea of pre-paid connection in cell/mobile phones to provide only finite talk time. One need to recharge after this “talk-time” is completed. Similarly, what if we introduce by some technology a finite pre-paid talk-time for every citizen? Once a citizen uses up this pre-ordained talk-time for a particular month, she needs to shut up for that month. Or better, even if she talks herself hoarse, she cannot be heard by any other citizen for that month.
Just like a ration card or a PAN number that is issued to every citizen of India, through a scheme like the compulsory rain water harvesting scheme of Tamil Nadu government (which turned out to be very good), every tax paying citizen can be made to buy a device or two and wear it around his/her mouth and/or ear. The technology for such a device that could control the tone and decibel (loudness) of speech and audibility is already with us. Complete with even a mute mode.
We could also try to invent in the urgent future, a device that can remotely control the vocal chords in the human throat itself. This would ensure the easy execution of the pre-set talk time concept for every individual. It would be called a “Low Speaker”.
If you leave out children below five years of age, the loquacity of humans of Indian origin is directly proportional to their age. However, their loudness actually follows a bell curve with age. The Low Speaker device can be modified to take these variations into account.
In Tamil Nadu at least, the above device could be featured in the next election campaign as a Free Shut Up Box for All.
Once the above said is possible, the one below is very much in my wish list…
Just like the pre-controlled speech, if we could actually have an extra-bodily control device as well so that, in the future, people also come with a “fast forward” option. When this is possible, I could “fast forward” most of what is to be spoken by most of the guys and gals at the parties and ceremonies I get to attend to.
Say, the conversation starts something like this
“Hi”,
“Whassup?”and you press ‘fast forward’ and the dude (babe) in front of you goes,
“whatsyoursunsign,oh!,car,monyluvchiolesigh….BLIP” Thud. Silence.
Oh, I am sorry. Did I ‘fast forward’ too much?
A bit morbid, but useful.
Imagine!
(yes, I know the last guy who really meant this was shot dead.)
