Unruled Notebook

Entries from June 2006

Should an IIT Prof. Blog?

June 20, 2006 · 20 Comments

In the 1980s computers are considered a waste of my time – afterall they are just sophisticated calculators. In the early 90s emails wasted my time – afterall who needs them when one can send a 30 paise (15 paise in the 80s) postal card. By the late 90s, internet is a waste of my time, afterall it is just a repository of unverified junk.

So, in the early part of this century, when I became vaguely aware of the blog, my thoughts recoiled as usual, like many of the other academic workaholics. Blogging should be another of those time wasting puerile cyber fantasies, an useless activity for a person of my social stature, whose waking time is consumed more in responsible teaching and curious research, is the conclusion.

And then one day, close to my Google Earth coordinates, one nice student of me started exploring the blog, which made me revise my previous judgement. Afterall, if I am a scientist, I should first have an open mind and keep refreshing my premises for progress.

But should an IIT Prof. blog? That is the question that I tried answering with justifications, before I could muster courage and commit the crime.

By now I have understood a blog is the short form of a web log. This could be a web diary, a journal, a magazine, a dialogue…it could be the avatar that you want it to be. Fine. Which avatar is it for me? What should I blog about? Of my monochromatic life in all its silly details? I could do it, but for any human readership I need to tag it with a warning “If I call this personal, you will probably read it, if I don’t, even I won’t”.

So a daily verbal vent of my vexations and fixations it is not. Should it then be about what is happening to the Earth on a daily basis, apart from its queer captive behavior tracing ellipses in space-time that makes certain of its inhabitants remember Newton and Kepler?

For doing this I should be knowing more about the Earth and its inhabitants and what novel methods of self aggrandizement and delusion they have warped their today into.

This requires me to read daily 3 to 4 newspapers along with the supplements and advertisements, if possible in 3 different languages (English, Tamil and Newsprint). I should reckon with 64 to 128 TV channels (it used to be 3 channels of sh** that David Gilmour once lamented about) along with their creative advertisements. Upon doing so, I should chew my news cud and assimilate what went into my coffer and regurgitate in a reader palatable vomit of humourous and lackadaisical verbal excess, in eye pleasing font, decorated if possible with salacious pictures.

The above described thing is difficult for me because firstly, I don’t have a TV and in the newspaper all I read is about what the carnatic music radio programs for that day (and night) are. My only source of genuine news, for what its worth, is the campus rumours that I hear over a cup of coffee. So, blogging about current affairs or is not my cup of tea (I drink coffee). Besides, a million other bloggers are adept at this so why bother.

It is not a personal diary, not any current affairs commentary, what then is it?

On an idea-barren, dull day afternoon, I chanced upon blogs of a different kind. Blogs of my kind, which could be classified as say, academic blogs written by real academicians, professors in three piece suit, with beards and thick brimmed glasses in place. I shall do a separate post on them but for a sample take a look at Scienceblogs, a portal of about 40 science blogs run by academicians of various stature and fields (including mathematicians).

As usual, the Indian academic crab is two steps behind.

I got convinced of the technical and academic uses of a blog through other things including the exposure of incomplete education by a government appointee at the NASA by a blog run by a biochemistry Ph. D. student (more on this later). And then on the night of a fateful day at the insti, I made this first post, for which I still receive some free coffee at the insti coffee shop, sponsored by my friends.

I started hearing feebly, my blog-voice.

On the other hand, I have also been warned by my goodwill hunters, about getting “carried away” by this blog-gas. Shouldn’t you be minding your core academic duties and go home? Why spend so much time on these juvenile neo cyber-fads? You could be doing more research at this time.

Of course, these concerns arise from the wrong premise that I blog from my office.

Based on these pros and cons I could ruminate for the past month:

Some reasons to blog

  • It is easy

Unlike the popular (mis)belief among academic engineers and scientists, it takes just minutes to set-up a personal blog in the web. Try Blogger if you don’t believe me, and blog about your disbelief. If you are a bit more computer savvy, you could use software like WordPress that creates, using a web host, a blog site of your own (like mine).

  • It is fun

Unlike the academic circle myth, again, blogging could be fun, if you choose to write about what is close to you. For academicians, who don’t want to write about politics or personal things, this could be a subject that they already are an expert at. You could blog on Science, Management, Chemistry, Biology, Music, Fluid Mechanics, Education in general…

This would make life interesting for you and the readers alike. For the readers, it is always a joy to listen/read an expert. And for the expert (you), what is there to complain, when the audience comes for free and actually reads and comments on what is written.

  • It is an academic tool

You could make your research more accessible for the readers, which could include importantly your own students from a large class, whom you may not unfortunately have the chance to meet up in a personal level during the entire course. I already have had some pleasant surprises in this front. Further, an academic blog gives access and a chance to comment upon for the public, on what you do as research in your field (assuming you write about them from time to time). Afterall, I earn my salary from the tax payers money and one of my duties is to develop human resources. A nice, eco friendly (no chalk), indirect way to educate, a blog could serve to be.

  • It is a coherent avocation

This is an extension of the fun part. A blog on your expertise allows you to think more about what you are good at. This only makes you better in that field. Blogging saves you from other electronic distractions. This has been the case for me. I blog in the time that I save by not watching TV (now the time is 3:05 AM and thankfully I don’t have to watch people kicking a poor ball around). Further, you are never caught in the writer’s block of what to write about. You already have ideas to be explored for an year, only, if you could find time.

  • Its miscellaneous benefits

Once the blog-bug has properly bitten you and the poison has permeated, it actually makes you write something everyday, a habit which is bound to improve your writing, if not the thinking. You would be surprised (I was and am) by how many of your research colleagues and group actually notice you and what you write and even share their thoughts on what you have written. A chance for self-aggrandizement for us academic narcissists. You start appreciating others (bloggers) for scratchbacking and this quality could actually trickle into your academic front as well, a welcome sign of generosity amongst a taciturn and brooding lot.

Some reasons not to blog

  • all those reasons listed above

Plus,

  • blogging is almost addictive, like early morning filter-coffee for most of us. Only we want to call it ‘habit’ in the case of coffee.

In conclusion, should an IIT Prof. Blog?

As it is usual with human life and its inconsequent Cosmic existence, destiny asks me to take a step in the general direction of the unknown. It is for me to decide, a decision of Cosmic significance as I would love to think,…

…whether to begin it with my left or right leg.

Categories: Academics
Tagged: , , ,

Waht to Witre (in a 3 Lteter Wrold)?

June 14, 2006 · 10 Comments

Waht to witre? Waht to wirte wehn wdros with mroe tahn trehe ltetres, cmeos out jbumeld? Waht is the prupsoe of epxersison, wehn wrods, the carirers of the tohuhgt, lsoe tehir lgoic of cnosrtuciton? I konw not mnay wuold raed tihs esasy and undresatnd the lsat wrod. Nverethelses I lkie to rceord my sacry pilght of epxrsesnig wrods taht ararnge tehmeslevs jmubeld to the redaers.

No, it is not a csae of the Mircosoft seplel cehcker not turend on. My pilght is sutbelr and geos lkie tihs: irersepcitve of any new tohught I wuold lkie to epxrses, bceause tehy cmoe out in jmubled wrods, I can do my tihnikng iteslf only wtih menaings of wrods taht we arleady konw. Olny tehn I can comumnciate it out, wtih the hpoe taht you will at lesat unedrsatnd it, if not aprpecaite it.

An example could be useful. Imagine all thoughts remain as dust amongst us, residing in a cosmic permanence. While expressing, words merely shine an ephemeral flash light on some of these thoughts. When a set of words shine as,say, yellow light on the Dust, it reflects all of the light in the same frequency. A good receiver, reader or listener, gets the meaning of the words in tact and perceives the Dust clearly in an ideal conversation. But this is almost never true in our conversations. Some of the expressed light is usually absorbed by the Dust itself and emitted in some other frequency to the opponent, leading eventually to a color-blind World full of flash-lights emitting words in all colors. My case is unique. My flash light shines perfectly. While re-emitting, the Dust keeps the frequency in tact, but jubmles the pahse or oirentaiton of the eimtetd lihgt.Some friends opine what I am experiencing is one form of the Writers Block. The professional insecurity has seeped into my brain, which is now shaking well, even while in use! But I think my thoughts are marginalized by this Jumble to Bungle. There can be new thoughts, but only as a combination of old meanings. There cannot be anymore new thoughts that require newly created words for communication. I am scared. Taht you are albe to raed and garsp a menaing form my jmubeld wirtnig is eqaully sacry. Arnet we wried?

Jumbling words may seem to get a new word, but as evidenced from this essay, we are left with the same meaning.

Jumbling with numbers seems better, for, it leads to a new number – a new thought. Each new number carries with it, hidden sets of new meanings and possibilities. Wouldnt you agree that even after the words are jumbled, the numbers arranged in that particular combination carry a special meaning in Atfer twnety yaers itno the futrue, waht to wirte byeond 1984?

Tahnkfluly my pilght is bteter tahn the Gualg wirter, eixeld in Sbieira. He kpet tyipng Water and his old tpyewirter kpet pirnitng Ice on the ppaer.

Categories: Muse
Tagged:

Another Stupid IIT Professor Featuring Story

June 12, 2006 · 23 Comments

Outsourcing Wodehouse is a review written in The Hindu on 11th June, 2006 (Sunday Magazine) by one simpleton on a love story of Shakespearean proportions, Anything for you ma’am: an iitian’s love story written by Tushar Raheja, a senior at the IIT Delhi.

The proportion is Shakespearean becasue an IITian gets to actually love somebody that too in Wodehousean tranquility.

I am yet to read the book and it seems promising with my favorite PGW inspirations strewn around. So the actual review of the book will be some time later. Now for a review of the review.

From the review of this book I learn that the author:

has this instinctive ability to hold your attention with narrative deviations that illuminate disparate subjects � the charm of campus life, stupid and pig-headed Professors, the advantage of having many sisters (you get a chance to date their friends),…

Wait wait. First Chetan Bhagat did it. We, the beleagured IIT professors, let him go, because he did after his graduation. Now Tushar, a senior, seems to do it again.

I am talking about the sneaking past me and using my “stupidity and pig-headedness” for the writer’s commercial gains.

This has to stop.

Another book of this kind where we are branded like this, I am going to claim royalty for our USP being unjudiciously used by fledgling writers, without at least my consent.

From the review, I can see further unabashed use of our USP for smirks and jerks in this book:

But this heartfelt empathy is not extended to the Professors at IIT. Their villainy � threatening of students and then bringing them before DISCO (the “Disciplinary Committee” at IIT) monitoring student activities through SALAD (Society against Liquor and Drugs), telephoning parents with complaints � is unmitigated. They cannot be forgiven.

Yes, I agree very much. Don’t ever forgive any of us for what we did to you. Don’t comeback from the country you are serving after your degree. We owe you big for sparing us of your scorching intelligence. Allow us to wallow in our scholarly woes. Your education is inspite of us.

From the review I see our gallant hero does the usual:

He bunks classes, lies to professors, plays the rhythm guitar and treats the campus like a large joint family ancestral home.

Now I know how this will end. A few pages before the end, the kid will be caught unfortunately. But to the welling tears of many of the readers, he will certainly be forgiven with a few advices given to the professors who caugth him red handed. Then the kid will be set free in the USA, while the sinned professors will roast in the IIT heat, waiting for the next lot of smartys who educate themselves, inspite of all the education these professors try upon them.

Whether it is Chetan or Tushar or this pig-headed reviewer, everybody seems to agree upon onething readily. That an average IIT Prof. is stupid and pig-headed. Always.

What with spending the better part of our office time in our complacent research that either serve our country’s futile national research needs or merely gets published in silly journals of international repute; serving dumb committees that strive to improve the curriculum that the protagonist of these books (and perhaps the authors included) never attend as it stunts their creative talents of playing orkut; improving the campus that is used for nefarious activities by the heroes or villans (aren’t they the same?) of these books who are unjustly tried by us again at the DISCO; and in general, by our mere existence wasting their time and not ours…

Anybody spending 50 hours per week on these useless activities I agree, is stupid and pig-headed.

You see, I am not denying Chetan, or Tushar, or this reviewer Ajit. I agree with all of them. In fact I am so pig-headed that the feeling is mutual.

But I disagree on one thing in the review. The final paragraph of the review reads thus:

In his next novel, which we look forward to, young Tushar Raheja would be well advised to stay away from the temptation of drawing perfect triangles, squares, pentagons and hexagons in his narrative. This skill might be useful at institutes like IIT, even praised by the useless Professors there, but has no literary merit whatsoever.

The last sentence could have been avoided by the reviewer. Writer Tushar or Chetan selling our USP for their commercial gain is onething. There is still a possibility that they will share their stash with us. But a reviewer doing it is unacceptable. Even if it is with pig-headed humour by a pig-head, printed in a pompous metamorphosis of an ordinary tree.

If the reviewer likes the story let him say so in a way that suits his literary merit. If he wants to warn the writer about his impending next flop, let him say so in as many words that suits his literary merit. Why drag us “useless Professors” into his verbal diahorrea?

If this plain talk from a “IIT pig-head”, who couldn’t draw perfect triangles (what is this?) as narrative, is not understood by the reviewer, who seems to do just that, I shall try to convey my point in a sentence or two that is a combination of literary and scientific speak perhaps worthy of the literary merit of the reviewer.

Mr. Brain Outsourced Hindu Reviewer: While promulgating your platitudinous ponderosities, beware of your ventriloqual verbosities and vacuous villifications (now, does this sentence pass his literary merit?). Otherwise, in the unlikely event of the two of us meeting, your verticality would be converted into your own horizontality through the momentum generated by the 1 kg mass of my fist traveling at an average velocity of 2m/s, covering the distance between us in 0.5 seconds (I guess this is scientific enough).

If you cannot understand this, Mr. BOHR, I agree.

We are stupid, useless and pig-headed.

Categories: Books · Micro Muse
Tagged: ,

Gifts at a South Indian Wedding

June 10, 2006 · Comments Off

Recently I attended as a ‘witness’, another of those South Indian Brahmin weddings where in front of a lot of witnesses, the couple went through a lot of imaginative and unnecessary rituals with lots of fanfare and noise.

Actually many amongst my race like this thing.

The wedding goes on for a day or two. Some twenty years back it used to be three days; hundred years back, five days; two thousand years back, just the time it took for the couple to formally announce their love and approval to each other.

If you don’t attend the wedding, the couple and all of their relatives who attended would be cross with you that you escaped this rigmarole. Especially, if you are another of those ‘close relative’ to the marrying couple. But if you attend, you get bored in minutes, if you are an extrovert to yourself.

The situation is ruthless and useless.

So what does the witness do? He or she takes it out on the couple in subtle ways, right from day one of their married life. At the end of the wedding the couple would remember the witness to their scene of crime in an equally ruthless and useless way. Through the gifts dumped on them.

Typical South Indian Brahmin wedding gifts include:

Thirty eight Vinayagar pictures and/or statues. Twenty one Srinivasar (a.k.a. Venkatachalapathy, Oppiliyappan, Thirumaal, Vishnu, Krishna and other sahasranamams) pictures with his consort. No statue gifted for this god – one more difference between Adhvaitham and Visistadhwaitham, I guess. Twenty time showing devices, eighteen face showing devices (hand or wall held), fifteen sets of crockery particularly made of silver and/or stainless steel. Ten to fifteen of any or all of these: ornamental key chains, table lamps, suitcases, ladies hand-bags, umbrellas. Five to six hand-made useless junk like some parrot or unimaginative natural scenery drawn or embroidered or made with rice and pulses and held within a glass frame or enclosure. One each in a TV, washing machine, mixer and the likes. One or two big useless thingamys that vaguely look both like a showcase item and a gaudily decorated waste basket.

There is a Law of Conservation of Junk and Gifts lurking somewhere in the social dynamics of at least the South Indian Brahmin society. Because, the only way the wedding couple can use these gifts is to give them away as their gifts in other weddings they get to attend.

Categories: Muse